The Spiral Effect
by A Meandering Ghostie
Summary: Naruto woke up from an unwillingly long nap, to find out everything he loved was practically gutted. Now pissed off he has to find out who metaphorically screwed him and save the world. All while using possibly the most worthless human around and serving delicious justice to whom it is due.
1. Chapter 1

**READ ME!**

 **Okay So for those of you who have already this chapter, nothing has really changed, just a few ways things where said and some other things. This chapter will probably be looked at again for editing but unless you're just picking this up you can pretty much ignore it. Yes I'm finally posting chapter two, no there will not be a large authors note there, as I'm placing it at the top of this chapter. Chapter three is being worked on but I finally decided what direction I'm taking this. My outline is giving me a bit of a headache but I have a heading so chapters shouldn't be as far from each other as usual. Hopefully, no promises. If you need to tell me something PM me.**

"Mmgfu-"

An orange ear twitched to the sound as a tanned blonde headed boy turned in the general direction of the moans. Two red slit eyes stared blandly at the two tied up lumps, wiggling from their perch in the trees. It was a brown haired boy in an open light gray button down shirt over a black t-shirt with black slacks, and a black haired girl in a white short sleeved blouse over a black dress. She had black wings and paper with strange markings covering her body. Both where bound, gagged, and blindfolded as the foxy one sat in the grass considering his options.

One was just a normal human boy, and the other a fallen angel.

Only the perverted flesh-bag saw him.

Then again the girl probably wasn't in the area alone. Fallen angels tended to travel in packs, the lower number of wings they had. Which brought him to the next problem.

Lifting a small paper up, the whiskered blond grimaced at the summoning circle. The evidence that devils were also involved in the situation, not that the barrier didn't tip him off.

The fact that someone had been trying to get through his seals for the last half hour only served to make this more annoying.

All of this just pointed at something too troublesome to bother with, and the stupid boy was at the center of it. The joys of being such a 'nice' person.

On a side note, the weather was nice enough to let his nine orange tails fan out to stretch.

"Mmgff! Mffgha!"

Naruto's eyes twitched as the girl seemed to be getting very vocal.

"What was that birdie? You prefer the art of shibari when tied up."

As soon as the blonde said that the floundering girl froze. Naruto's grin grew wider as he sensed her panic rise when she started flopping frantically around in fear.

"Mfg!?"

The boy next to her on the other hand spouted a nose bleed, as his body slumped in what Naruto figured was a daze.

"Well I guess it is bad manners to leave my guests outside, why don't you two cool down, I'll be back soon."

Standing up slowly the boy stretched his body out, pulling his extra appendages inside himself to blend in and disappeared in a passing breeze.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Rias Gremory, a beautiful red headed girl with knee length hair, and antennae of hair sticking out the top, is one of the most sought after girls in her age group. Known as one of the two Great Lady's, she was as unflappable and distant as they come.

However right now as she stood there in front of a small park. A park that just a month go did not exist and that was full of many exotic trees, with as single path leading inside

Rias was getting frustrated.

"So, what do you think is in there?"

"Ara, ara president, if I didn't know any better it sounds like you're doubting yourself."

Rias didn't even spare a glance at the buxom black haired girl as her long whip like ponytail blew in the breeze.

The girl stood off to the side with a smile on her face, brushing an errant hair out of her angelic face. Her violet eyes where filled with mirth at what the situation, as she thought of what this could potentially implicate.

Her name was Himejima Akeno and she was the other Great Lady of Kuoh. Granted she really did give the air of a high class princess.

"Akeno, be serious. You saw what happened when I went in there."

"Ah yes, you were like a puppet being led around in a circle, fu fu I wonder what the others would think."

The seething look Rias sent her was enough as she giggled into her hand.

"Just kidding."

"Walking in circles? Man that's boring." As a light boyish voice piped up from behind the two girls they tensed, with Rias whipping around to face the boy that shouldn't have been there. "Then again you seem the type princess."

What Rias came face to face with was the one and only Uzumaki Naruto. The unassuming boy that sat next to her class, a rebellious student their peers have titled the sleepy storm.

He stood at about 176 centimeters, and had an orange headband keeping his spiky blonde locks out of his whiskered face. Bright blue eyes stared into her own teal ones with a mischievous twinkle in them like he was in the middle of another one of his pranks, and she was center target.

It was a look he'd been giving her since he transferred in a month ago.

He was still wearing the school uniform sans the jacket, and with the white striped button up shirt hanging open revealing the black t-shirt with the orange swirl on his chest. As per usual, he was snickering.

For what it was worth the only facial reaction he got out of the red head with her arms crossed was the continuous twitching of her eye brows.

"Ah the cold treatment now? Wonder how long that'll last princess-chan."

"Y-you?"

Akeno for her part was just enjoying the idiot work, as she calmly turned to greet the newcomer.

"Well hello there Uzumaki-kun, fancy meeting you here of all places."

With a nod of acknowledgment Naruto hummed. Right before twisting away from the irate girl moving towards the beaten path between the trees.

"Not really, I do live in there. So can I help you with anything? You've been beating on my door for the last half hour, and the headache you have been giving me has made it a little hard for me to concentrate on accommodating my... guests."

"Accommodating and you do not go together, or did you forget how you 'helped' the student council spread love last week. The president just barely made it out of that with her dignity intact."

At those words his grin grew shark like, not that the two girls could see it. They did however shiver a bit as the atmosphere suddenly set them on edge. Turning around with his hands in his pockets Naruto leaned against a tree.

"Hah, that was a good one. Too bad they never caught the guy right princess-chan. If they did I'm sure his school life would simply cease don't you think?"

"Oh my, I was really hoping it was you Uzumaki-kun, it seemed like such a fun game to play."

"Akeno, enough. What business do you have with the fallen angel and Hyoudou issei, Uzumaki."

Naruto for his part just put on a confused expression, tilting his head just ever so slightly, blinking a couple of times to really sell his innocence.

"Why does it matter?"

"Eh?" Neither girls expected such a response from the now bored looking blonde.

"What? I'm not really one for beating round the bush, and dealing with you is putting me in a bad mood, princess. So again, why do you care? Or are you just upset that I stopped you from conveniently saving his life, ne Devil-chan?"

At those words the girls jumped back defensively in shock. Rias's face taking on a darker tone at the slight to her while her body began glowing crimson.

"Oh that's a good look on you princess, no wonder sadists-chan follows you around like a lost pup-Gah!"

Naruto was interrupted by a bolt of electricity slamming into his body. For a moment he just stood there convulsing, before his body disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Akeno looked a little ruffled at that comment, her hands stretched out with sparks jumping from her body, a magic circle fading from in front of her.

"Now that wasn't nice."

The voice was so close Akeno yelped as her body whipped around. What she was met with however was not a blond boy, but several small pellets that slammed into her face covering her in various colors. A moment later a single piece of paper floated down in front of her with the words, 'I win! Good luck next time.' Followed by a victory sign.

A bulging vein could be seen on Rias's forehead as she found the blonde hanging from a tree upside down, all the while laughing.

"You do know this is Gremory territory and this could potentially break the ceasefire that's been held all these years."

Naruto just looked at her and pointed at himself.

"So, what does that have to do with me? I don't fall under any of the factions, therefore I don't care about your rules. The whole thing is stupid anyway."

"So you think you can just walk all over us then?"

"I'm still here. That and with the current situation, you can't look weak in your families eyes, isn't that right princess?"

Naruto and the tree he was in where immediately consumed in a pillar of crimson magic. When it was gone there was nothing left of either, leaving her and Akeno alone.

"I don't care who you think you are Uzumaki, if you think you can manipulate me, you're one thousand years too early to even try."

"Ara, ara butchou, I think someone wants to die." When she looked at her queen, she saw the mirth in her eyes as she giggled into her hands.

There was a clicking sound followed by a whirring. Then a breeze which brought forth what looked to be a developing picture of Rias in a wedding dress, with a stuffed pheonix in a tux sitting on her head. There was also a small note on the bottom of that.

'What price will you pay to break it?'

The explosion that ripped through a few unfortunate trees moments later was like music to his ears.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"So birdie, have you cooled down yet?"

"MFGH, VGH!"

The vehemence of the girls moaning was not missed as the girl put however much energy as she could into it.

"Eh, good enough."

The next thing the girl knew she was on the ground without the blindfold and gag. Across from her was her original target, still alive, kicking, and looking very much confused.

"Who the hell are you!?" She screeched.

"Oi! I'm the one who asks the questions here not you birdie." His point was punctuated by a small pebble hitting her forehead, knocking the back of her head into a tree.

"Cha! FUCK!"

"Umm... Naruto sempai, what's going on?"

The brown haired underclassman looked completely out of his element, though his eyes kept glancing back to the breasts in front of him. The very same set that had tried to kill him earlier today.

"Focus pervy apprentice" As Naruto spoke he flicked Hyoudou Issei in the head. "What you see in front of you Issei is a specimen of woman that you want to stay away from at all costs, a man eater."

"Really?" Issei's brown eyes where a glow with excitement.

"Hey! I resent that!"

"Sadly yes, she will tempt you with sex, and you may even get it, but the goal is something else entirely. In her case you got nothing but a date, and she wanted your life."

Issei gasped. "That's terrible."

The fallen angel really wanted to hit something as Naruto nodded sagely.

"But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, for you have graduated from my eyes from one of the perverted trio, to the perverted apprentice that shall challenge the world!"

"Eh, but I am just a normal guy."

"Silence pervy apprentice, I have work to do." Walking over to the struggling angel Naruto grabbed her by the collar and started dragging her away all the while whistling a jaunty tune.

"H-hey, let go of me. Where are you taking me?"

"Oh I just have a few questions fallen-san"

The way he answered that sent chills down her spine.

"H-HEY! Stop, Issei help me, I'm sorry for trying to kill you. I won't do it again just make him stop! Don't let him take me!"

Issei wasn't entirely sure what to think about what was happening, though with her struggling and the way the wire was tied he got a nice view of her bouncing breasts.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"So Hyoudou Issei, according to Ray-chan over there, you are the proud owner of a powerful thing called a sacred gear." As Naruto stood in front of the boy in the good guy pose when confetti burst from the ground with streamers, and cheering filling the clearing.

Looking over to where Raynare the fallen angel was he could only pity the girl as she was faced down, her butt in the air foam dripping from her mouth. Every few seconds her body would spasm, and she would let out a sultry pain filled moan.

"What did you do to her?"

"Don't you worry about that flesh-bag, what you need to worry about is what I am going to do to you."

With a gulp Issei weakly laughed as he viewed the blonds widening grin.

"Aw come on Uzumaki-sempai, you didn't really mean it when you said I was your apprentice now right?"

When the only sound that filled the clearing was the wind blowing and the continued whimpers of his attacker. A deep dark pit formed in Issei's gut.

"Right sempai? You were joking?"

"I wonder if throwing you off a cliff is a good way to start with you."

Panic filled Issei as he attempted to crawl away like a Caterpillar from a very hungry bird. Only this bird was not interested in eating him.

He didn't get too far when he felt a tugging feeling and he was suddenly hanging upside down by his feet from his new 'Teachers' hand.

"Oh come on, you can't seriously think I'm going to start you on that?"

For the next five minutes Issei screamed for help, as Naruto dragged both him, and the girl back to his home.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"So what you're telling me, is I am now involved in the supernatural world and Rias Gremory was going to let me die. All so I could for all intents and purposes become her slave?" Issei was finally free of his bindings, and now had a cup of tea sitting in front of him at a table that looked rather well put together.

He was sitting in a kitchen/dining room across from his host who was already on his sixth cup of ramen.

"That's what it looks like." Naruto nodded scooping more noodles in his mouth to enjoy his dinner.

"And you stopped this from happening on a whim?"

"Now you're just putting words in my mouth."

"And her?"

"Think of her as an obsessively misguided cultist, one that is blindly charging forward, to make the people she respects acknowledge her."

"That's, oddly specific."

"Yeah, well you didn't have her crying all over you. Telling you everything she could to make it stop." There was a tint of red on Naruto's cheeks when he said that.

"Really though, what did you do to her?" As he said this Raynare was peeking out from behind the kitchen counter, tears pooling in her eyes like a child that has just been punished.

"Kid, you really don't want to know."

The glint in Naruto's eyes as he stared down the brown haired human in front of him put off that questioning for now.

"Well then, how exactly are you going to train me?"

"Every day be here after class, I've probably got some time before anything really relevant happens."

"What about Rias-sempai?"

"Do what you would normally do, just don't join her peerage. I don't care what she offers you, if you go against that." Suddenly Issei felt a very ominous presence and could have sworn there was a giant Kitsune standing behind his new teacher, nine tails waving about angrily.

"Let's just say you won't be happy." The smile on Naruto's face felt so out of place but the gulping Issei came to realize this was a something he was stuck in now.

"Now then," The oppressive aura dropped and a goofy smile spread across Naruto's face. "Sorry about the dramatics and whatnot, I just had to make sure you understood what was going. Man thinking and being all depressing is not my thing. How do people do this all the time, this is such a drag."

"Oh I guess I should formally introduce myself, I am Uzumaki Naruto, Sage, overall bad ass, and the most unpredictable ninja you'll ever meet. No I am not human, I'm actually not sure what I am anymore."

None of anything Naruto said made him feel better about the situation.

'What happened to my normal life?' Tears fell down Issei's face as he imagined all of the breasts floating away. A new horrible chapter was beginning in his life, and he had a distinct feeling he would regret it if he decided to skip training.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Settle down, students we have a new member joining us today." After waiting for the class to settle down from the excitement the teacher called out.

"You can come in now."

When the door opened an above average height blond with whiskers stepped into the room, giving a cursory glance to everyone with his slouched posture and a hand in his pocket. His blue eyes stopped on one redhead momentarily before moving along as he stood up in the middle of the class.

"Go ahead and introduce yourself."

With a sigh and a bored expression he shrugged.

"Hi, my name is The Great Uzumaki Naruto, I like ramen, training, nature, and the people precious to me in my life. I dislike the three minutes it takes to make ramen, and certain systems in place by different cultures. My dream for the future is to change the world and settle down."

This was the day that markedly changed everything.

Sona Sitri remembered that day perfectly as she thought about the brutish blonde. She was also the only one to really notice something truly odd about the Uzumaki. His presence always seemed to just diminish after you spoke with the boy, it didn't matter what it was, but you consciously forgot about him.

With this in mind she decided to try and do the one thing she would regret for the rest of her days.

Attempt to add him to her peerage.

Naruto's response did not sit well with her at all, and she was still paying for it in droves. His righteous anger, his dominating aura, and the fact that she felt like he was dissecting her with his eyes, almost looking directly into her own soul. It was a disquieting feeling and she really didn't like remembering that event.

So when she found her childhood friend calmly throwing a tantrum about the odd boy, the girl could only make one assumption.

"Rias, please tell me you didn't try to add Naruto to your peerage."

"Why would I add that 'thing', to my peerage, look what he did to me."

With that she showed the infuriating picture.

If it wasn't for the fact that she knew what the image implied, Sona might have found it a little relieving that she wasn't the only one getting hit.

But as her glasses slipped down her face, she realized that what this implicated was much worse than a security risk.

"Rias he's only been here a month, not that it's a big secret but how did he find out?"

"I don't know, and quite frankly I don't care. Something needs to be done about this. 'We' need to do something."

When Sona opened her mouth to respond, her body visibly twitched as a certain memory surfaced. She could just imagine the devilish blond cackling away plotting the next big thing with her at the forefront. Turning away her face bright red Sona coughed into her hands.

"I regret to inform you Rias, but recently the student council has taken on several events that I must attend too." With that Sona lifted the stack of requests and began stamping approved on them.

Rias gave her friend a bewildered look, truly taking in the expression of the black haired girl with the shoulder length hair. The slim violet eyed devil was incredibly nervous about something as she began moving through documents. Deciding to see what was so important, Rias picked up a couple of the stamped sheets.

"You approved Ramen Lovers Day, and the less restrictive uniforms for the girls kendo club?"

With a gulp and the sweetest smile Sona could muster she paused and just nodded her head.

"It's all for the enrichment of the school."

Rias was a bit put off by the way her friend was acting. So she slowly backed out of the room as Sona continued stamping approved through various documents.

'I am so going to regret this later.' Was Sona's thoughts as she watched Rias slowly leave all the while holding her tears back.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Hyoudou Issei felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, as he trudged up the path towards his school.

The night had been a rough one fraught with nightmares and taunts of the things to come. The tiny green haired fairy that was doing a terrible job of hiding while following him only further destroyed his hopes that it was all a horrible fever induced dream. She didn't like him at all, and he could just feel her ire piercing his very being.

"You don't have to follow me to school, Sia."

"Naruto-sama assigned me the task of keeping you out of trouble. You should be grateful to have such a cute girl escorting you." The tiny girl huffed indignantly obviously irritated with the aforementioned task the as she floated along the top of a wall.

Sia was about half a foot tall with bright pink wings and long flowing light green locks of hair. She was wearing an orange sun dress. Her tiny oval eyes matched her wings perfectly.

"Yes but did you have to wake me up like that?"

"Naruto-sama told you to be on time today and act like nothing happened. You didn't wake up to your alarm so I took the liberty to douse you with water." She was smiling at the memory as she moved to float alongside the depressing boy. "I thought your reaction was funny."

'How am I supposed to act normal with her around?'

"Oh don't worry about anyone seeing me, we fairies can only be seen those we wish to be seen by or beings closely related to nature. Being that the latter is probably an impossibility you should be fine." Looking up she noticed someone at the end of the street. "Look alive big guy, you have company."

Snapping his head up, Issei immediately noticed the beautiful red head standing off to the side, as if waiting on someone. Upon realizing who it was Issei felt his stomach start to flip flop, and pictured Naruto's smiling face.

"Suddenly I feel a burning need to relieve myself right now." He mumbled to himself.

As Issei was beginning to pass Rias, she moved to block his path, trying to take command of the moment with her poise and status.

Issei couldn't help but admire the size of her breasts and overall curvy body, which made the girl grin. But his look changed from interested to horror in almost a moment as he jumped away from her like she was poison.

Issei cried for the first time that day as he charged passed the stunned girl shouting, "Such a beautiful specimen, yet I must stand strong against such a fruit! I am not worthy!"

'Don't worry little Issei it's all for you, there are other beautiful women in the sea.' He thought to himself not even registering the hysterical laughter of the fae creature behind him.

Rias Gremory was left dumbfounded in the middle of road with various students staring at her.

"I don't know what happened." She stated blandly a little unnerved at the state of affairs within the last twenty four hours.

Flipping open her phone she pressed a few buttons. After a moment of waiting she cleared her throat.

"Akeno you're up."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Naruto was finding the situation hysterical. Issei was spazzing out at every turn through the day, like a proverbial noose was hanging above his head. He was quite curious how long until the boy snapped. For he was sure that girl was going to do anything at this point to get Issei into her peerage. The only question he had, was she more manipulative than he was terrified.

That answer was surprisingly answered during lunch when Issei ran to him begging him for a loop hole of some kind. Something about bountiful bundles of joy and cute mascots. Naruto swore that the boy's soul left him when he was denied, yet the boy remained strong.

"Maybe Raynare affected him more than I thought. Hmm, I should get her something nice." He idly mused to himself as he relaxed perched upon the fence surrounding the schools roof. In his hands was a notebook with doodles and small notes on the best ways to train his new pupil.

It really had been such a nice few days, just him, the cool breeze, the soft chattering of fellow students, and a door slamming open behind him.

He only turned to acknowledge the red head was there and continued contemplating the meaning of life and the universe again.

"Why?"

Humming at the sound, he could just hear her cool slowly crumbling away. Deciding he rather preferred the silence to her demanding questions he chose remain silent.

"Answer me Uzumaki, why are you doing this?"

"Did you know Riser Phenex was planning on using his sister's body in a political bait and switch?"

Rias sputtered at the information thrown her way.

"Yeah, that was my reaction, just makes me hate him so much more." the laugh that followed was mirthless. "Man you really drew the short straw. If this marriage really goes through, this will turn into a black mark for your family. That I can promise you."

"D-do you have proof?" As nervous as she sounded Naruto could trace some hope in there.

"Sure, but it's not going to do you much good." A small yellow folder that practically appeared in his hands out of nowhere, was flicked to her. "An anonymous tip was dropped that saved his sister and in a way forced his families hand."

Rias was only half listening as she read the details involving one Ravel Phenex. Her face seemed to be getting paler by the second, but she did register his last words.

"What do you mean forced their hands?"

"The Phenex family are trying to save face by giving themselves an out, an excuse when this all blows up. Guess who the prime candidate is?"

The cheshire grin on Naruto's face only hammered home what was going on in her little world.

"Me?" His grin only got wider as she caught on.

"Ding, ding, ding! I would expect your marriage date to be moved up to within the next month and a half. You have very few options of getting out of this, even worse chances on your own."

The matter of fact way he said it bothered her, but she knew he was right. She had tried for years to annul this cursed contract to no avail. At this point there really where only a few ways out and disgracing herself might not even work as they may just force her to go through with it in spite, though she wasn't totally against trying.

"Then there is me, I can have you out of this marriage contract today. No negotiations or beating around the bush, just straight facts and ultimatums. For a limited time mind you."

"For a price?"

"For a very steep price Princess, the question is, are you willing to pay mine?"

Rias felt like she may be making a deal with a devil, she knew he wasn't one but the smile on his face and the overall aura he was emitting made her feel cornered.

"What do you want?"

"Oh nothing much, just the complete release of one Koneko 'Shirone' Toujou from your services as well as her absolute freedom."


	2. Chapter 2

Any other time Issei might have actually paused in awe at the wooded wonder before him. What with the floating motes of light and fairy children fluttering all about, it was the stuff of legends. However after being whisked from his bed earlier in the night, Issei had no time to for admiration as a different facet of the place was quite intimately taught to him. The most recent blow sending him spinning to the rocky ground, helping quite earnestly in their acquaintance.

When his mind finally caught up with his person, only one thing registered through his mind, pain. It wracked his body, shook his mind, blossoming in every subtle shake as his failing form laid amidst the clearing. His vision swam as if he was looking through layers of shifting glass. Focusing his sight was hard but there was one thing he could see clearly. Cold bright blue eyes impassioned in their stare, darkening slowly as Issei marinated in his own sweat, piss, and tears. The figures menacing demeanor offset by his overall bright look, frowned ever so slightly before speaking up.

"Sia, if you would."

With dawning horror, Issei could only gaze into those soulless orbs of a beast as the happy fairy fluttered to his side to once again to rejuvenate him.

If it wasn't for the fact that he knew what this hell would bring, Issei would have found the act amazing. There was one itsy bitsy problem with this solution. It only masked the fatigue and the soreness. The peanut galleries animated chattering, just twisted the proverbial knife deeper as the fae children played and jeered. In deep frustration Issei pushed himself off the ground, a haggard feeling in his movement, one he knew would fade in time.

"Again." That single word was all of the time he was given to react. Issei was barely off his knees yet when a swift fist lodged itself into his face knocking him back to the ground, more blood oozing from his nose.

It was the start of another prompt beating, his alleged training. At about the point Issei's attempted dodge left him choking on air from a bare heel driving into his gut. He began to think startlingly clearly about his situation. How was getting the crap kicked out of himself supposed to teach anything?

With this realization, Issei stopped allowing the incoming fist to plow him into the ground.

It only felt like a moment after his head was unceremoniously driven to more the merciful earth, when Issei noticed the attacks had finally stopped.

Clutching his head to stop his world from spinning, Issei had blink the spots out of his eye a few times before he noticed his 'trainer' crouched in front of him, a bored look to his dull blue eyes. Yet at the same time that look made him quiver as if his very existence was being questioned here.

"Why'd you stop?"

The question was simple but the strange tone in Naruto's voice sent a cold shiver through his wheezing body. Not sure what to make of the sound, the beaten boy held his tongue as his assailant stared expectantly.

"Well?"

Issei stammered with the first thing he could think of.

"I never agreed to train with you." It was a short answer, one that could not be faulted for how Issei unwillingly joined this session.

The only response he received was the rise of a single blonde brow. A look of skepticism quite clear on his teachers face almost if asking 'Don't you understand your situation?'

"I mean, why do you even want to train me?" He frantically continued, "I'm nothing special."

Nodding his slowly in agreement Naruto hummed. "Yeah, you're right. Absolutely subpar to work with, almost bottom of the barrel."

"W-wow, really laying it on thick aren't you."

Ignoring that comment Naruto continued.

"Meh, didn't have much of a choice, still you'll be thanking me later. Probably."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better, what am I supposed to be learning from getting the shit kicked out of me anyway?"

"A backbone obviously. Though that might just be your body's reaction to too much stimulation, hard to tell. Still no gear thing though." Squinting his eyes in thought while he examined his pained student. He puffed up his cheeks after a few moments of seeing his pitiful state. "Fine, this stress test isn't working anyway. I guess we could do something a little more motivational. How about this, what do you think is the worst thing that could ever happen?"

"Eh?"

"Look, I know I haven't really explained anything to you. But before that, I want to know what you think the worst thing that could possibly happen is."

First a beating, and now a philosophical question? If Issei wasn't already cradling his head in pain he would be rubbing it in confusion. Was this guy even sane?

"Ugh, I don't know, dying?" The prompt response was a flick to the head.

"You're not even trying. Either way that's kind of the wrong answer. See when you die, you do go somewhere. Even that depends on the 'Realm of death', your soul is carted off too." Pausing for a moment the blond hummed. "Well, none of that will really matter anyway."

"Wait, there are really different afterlives?"

"Yeah I just said that, though it's not supposed to be that way. You've got a whole bunch of feel good places and places of torment. It's actually a pretty cool subject when you don't have to worry about it. But for even one of these to exist, there has to be a reining primordial of Death around?"

"What?"

Rolling his eyes at the boy Naruto pouted.

"Oh come on, I'm dumb and I get this stuff. A being that was alive before the beginning, transcending time, space, and everything in between. Something you wouldn't hold much of a candle too right now".

"So…" Issei paused as testing the words he was thinking in his head "A god?"

"Right in one."

"What does this have to do with the worst thing that could ever happen?"

"Right, to the good stuff! Now, what if I told you? That absolute torment, mind numbing agony, insanity, and every other horribly atrocious thing, you could possibly conceive in that tiny little brain of yours. Is maybe a few months away."

"I-I would say you're full of crap." He had to pause in the middle of his statement but the moment those words left Issei's mouth. He could have sworn the temperature suddenly dropped thirty degrees. It also looked like color started bleeding away from the forest around him "Did the temperature just drop? What's going on?"

"Shock treatment it is, I was really kind of hoping you'd at least humor me" Pausing for effect as Naruto brought his palm down the front of his face a soft groan just barely squeaked by his lips. "And yes, it did, I blame you."

It was at that very moment that the very grass beneath him began twisting and changing from their well cared and groomed form. To long blades of exotic grasses and things of such an odd and foreboding hues that Issei found himself unable to comprehend the colors. Large dark grey trees whose thick trunks brooked no argument of their sturdy nature, sprouted from seeming nothing. The world around him started to thrum with a strange quiet energy, almost urgent in its vibration.

No longer was Issei in a bright colorful clearing but in a strange forest that had no source of light but glowed vibrantly with an eerie and almost pacifying quality.

"Where, are we? It's, weirdly comforting, like all my troubles are washing away."

Standing up in front of the dumbfounded child, Naruto patted his pants down with a soft hum of agreement.

"Yeah, feels real good. Right up until you get torn to shreds and devoured by the local fauna. If you're lucky you'll only run into the more docile creatures here, they'll at least beat you up until you think up is down. Then in your pained delirium, they'll usually just swallow you whole."

"Da fuq?" Was Issei's eloquent response to what he could only assume was some serious drug induced nightmare fuel. It was so odd and off-putting. This whole thing had to be a dream with the way it was going. Probably brought on by one of the harder hits he had taken.

"Oh, look at that thing on your arm, when'd that get there." The way too happy blond was now pointing at him, a look of faux excitement on his face.

Issei looked off to the side where his left arm was laying away from him. Only for a gasp of confusion to fill his being as his arm was seemingly replaced with a bright red gauntlet. It had sharp looking claws for fingers, with an emerald gem with dancing flames in the center. The body of the gauntlet was segmented with sharp protrusions jutting out of the sides, two golden yellow horn like ones shooting half past his upper arm at the end.

Issei probably would have stared dumbfounded at the thing, if not for one thing. It started to speak to him.

"Boy, the amount of luck you need to lack for us to end up here of all places, is unheard of."

"What did I do?"

"I don't even want to hear it your excuses! I just woke up and the first thing I find. We are going to have a horrible, terrible un-death because I have an unlucky idiot for a host. Unless we get out of this, don't speak to me at all.."

Feeling really weirded out about everything Issei finally found it in himself to stand back up. It was a surprisingly simple process like his body had never been beaten in the first place. With a quick glance at his person at the odd feeling running through it, Issei turned to question his trainer. Only to find him slowly drifting away from him as a blue fog drifted into the clearing.

"Welcome to Lacuna Issei, this is that thing I was talking about. I'd suggest you start running, ya know."

It was at that moment as Naruto's silhouette faded that a strange sound drew Issei's attention, something close to a dying squeal followed by rapid clicking. Taking a step back was the only motion he made when the sounds suddenly stopped, the very air seemingly frozen. A deep pit formed in his stomach as the space in front of him, if possible became darker than the blackest he could imagine. That was all he needed as the warning from Naruto fully registered and just as he was about to follow said advice. A deep-grayish fanged something lunged.

"AaaaAA-"

x-X-x-X-x-X-x

"AAAAAAUUGGH!"

Issei's eyes snapped open in fright, brown unfocused orbs shifted frantically as a scream tore its way from his mouth. In the next instant Issei was up from his desk, the chair clattering behind him. The rapidly paling boy looked around frantically where dozens of sinister glowing eyes stared hungrily at his person. Left arm twitching at the ready, Issei's mind was quickly falling into fight or flight mode, the window quickly becoming his main focus as his head stayed in position to watch the predators. It wasn't until a piece of chalk nailed him center forehead that his eyes gained clarity.

Noticing for the first time he was causing a scene in his class he released shuddering sigh. At the sound of a clearing throat, Issei's gaze drifted to his irate teacher.

"Hyoudou Issei, I understand that history is not the most exciting of subjects for you, but if you're going to disrupt my class, you can leave."

Baggy, shaken, bloodshot eyes stared briefly into the abyss of yet another uncaring person in his life. Not speaking a word Issei quickly grabbed his things in trembling hands to make his escape, uncaring for the whispers and insults thrown his way.

Once outside and able to think, he couldn't help shivering at that memory. He also now knew, not to ever question his new 'teacher' in anything he was attempting to do.

Shifting brown eyes darted around the empty halls as Issei attempted to calm himself down. "Sia, I don't think coming to school today was a good idea." Appearing from wherever she was hiding, the little Fae gave the teen a big grin before taking a seat on his shoulder.

"Probably, Naruto-sama did tell you to take it easy today. You just couldn't think up an excuse to stay home."

Looking at the sadistic little child on his shoulder with disdain, Issei was tempted to flick her off his shoulder.

"I did have an excuse."

"Yeah, you tried claiming to be sick?" Her accusing tone was mocking as it was incredulous "You would have been in bed all day! Naruto-sama strictly told you to stay out of bed and keep those muscles limber."

"I only had a few hours of sleep."

"And whose fault is that?" Came that same matter of fact voice that seemed to haunt every waking moment of his life. Issei's sagging form was too tired to even react while the whiskered blonde appeared from around the corner. Mischief shined in his eyes while he set set a few empty nondescript cans off to the side before joining the walk of shame.

"Why aren't you in class?"

"Who said I wasn't?" Issei wasn't even sure how to respond to that idiotic remark. So he did the next best thing.

"Don't you have better things to do?"

"Yeah, a few."

"Then leave me alone and go do it."

"Would if I could."

"You're never going to leave me alone, are you?"

Naruto just hummed in disagreement. Upon hearing the answer a cloud of depression filled his unwilling pupil, seeing this he rolled his eyes. "Oh come on! I know it was bad, but you were only in there for what, an hour?" The hand the blond bastard placed on his shoulder did nothing to comfort Issei. If anything he felt his heart rate jump in fear of the menace. "You didn't even die, I was impressed."

Issei's face paled even further. "Y-you expected me to die?" His stuttering seemed to coincide with his bodies chattering, all kinds of horrid sensations filled his being.

"Eh, at least once or twice. " Naruto quickly quipped as he led the boy over to the campus shop. "Still that arm thing was kind of useful."

"Oh…" Issei felt faint as his eyes fluttered at the revelation, yet just as his body was about to succumb to its overload. A brief well of power spread through his body startling him. As his body naturally jumped to the foreign energy, a yelp of surprise escaped him, then he screamed. "What the heck was that!?"

"Just a little pick me up, can't have you passing out on me now. So anyway, now that you have an idea of what's coming, whatcha gonna to do?" The insane grin sitting on that blue eyed whiskered face was as unsettling to the once normal human as it was unfitting.

"Do I really have a choice?" The way he sobbed those words really pulled at Naruto's heart strings in such a way, a tear nearly formed on his smiling visage. Leaning closer with an almost impish smirk he whispered in response.

"No. Don't worry though, it's only the fate of the world riding on your shoulders. Either way you'll be fine, besides you're not allowed to die yet." Issei knocked the hand from his shoulder as he jumped away from the smirking student. His accusing finger pointed center mass as his boiling point began to reach critical mass.

"What do you mean!? You keep saying these confusing things and then just walk away. At least tell me where you were you last night? You just left me to fend for myself."

"I was doing the same thing you were, running like a little bitch, without the bitching." There was not a shred of shame in that response as Naruto's smile never even wavered. "As for the rest, do a little thinking. It's not like I'm hiding anything you need to know."

A cold sweat formed as Issei's hands begun trembling. "Wait… you kicked the crap out me last night." The things that plagued his mind rang vivid for a moment, as he remembered none of the creatures being even close to his trainer's level. "Shouldn't that place be easy for you?"

"Psh, No. That place is a nightmare to anything with power." Issei wasn't sure if it was the matter of fact way those words were spoken or how Naruto's face shifted from playful to serious that made him freeze at the realization of what was being said. "Remember this Issei, Equality is everything in Lacuna." Not expecting a response from his shell shocked pupil. Naruto gave the boy a sympathetic look before walking past him towards the kiosk.

"Anyway I've got some things to do. Sia, remind Issei not to skip out, we're figuring out what that colorful weight on his arm does tonight. Alright, later guys!"

"Gotcha Naruto-sama!" The tiny child chimed happily, waving over boys shoulder.

Issei just stood there like a statue as the pressure began mounting this personal hell. All while his 'teacher' merrily snatched a few snacks, without anyone noticing before walking off.

-x-x-x-x-x-x

Rias was nursing a migraine as she stared blankly out her club room window. Plans and deals meant nothing to her as her mind used all its resources in attempt come out on top. Across her redwood desk lay a mess of forgotten papers and folders. Work she was not too keen on completing with this new problem at hand. Just like all of those other times, there was no clear cut answer.

Take the bait and loose her precious Koneko without any guarantee of success. The only guarantees that could be offered were his word and his admittedly shocking, if true proof. Her other option to deny the man, losing possibly the only avenue that would surely free her of this accursed marriage, if he was to be believed. It was infuriating and without Issei, a possible game changer, the odds were sorely stacked against her.

Rubbing her face in frustration, the Gremory heir wanted to lash out at something, anything just to make herself feel better.

It was as she began rubbing her eyes, that a cup of tea was moved in front of her. Glancing at the light brown liquid briefly the red-head followed the arm up to her closest friend and queen. A wane smile tugged at her lips, as Akeno's brow knitted together in worry.

"Akeno, please tell me you have some good news?" The grimace that graced her queen didn't grant any confidence.

"Well, Issei hasn't run from us today. Though with the way he stumbled in, I don't even think he noticed me or Koneko this morning. Kiba's trying to find him right now, seems he had a brief episode in class and left before break."

Taking the offered cup Rias blinked. "Come again Akeno?"

"What, Issei not noticing us or the episode, president?"

"The former." Rias huffed, she had an idea of what happened in class.

"If you saw him this morning it wouldn't be all that surprising. He looked like he hadn't slept and was walking haggardly. Almost as if it hurt just to move." Tapping her chin with her index finger she leaned a bit to the side with a hum. "But something did feel different about him, almost like there was something more there."

With a deep sigh, the heiress took a quick sip of the tea before shuffling over to her disregarded work. Taking a quick seat she spoke slowly while flipping through her papers. "If we can't bring him here, we'll have to go to him. If he says no, we can't waste anymore time, will you come tonight?"

"What, you're giving up" Akeno was taken aback by the way her King seemed ready to roll over already. "What do you mean you're giving up? We've been deciding on this for months, if anything is a waste of time, you givi-"

"Akeno" The hushed way Rias spoke seemed to echo around the room as she cut off her longtime friend. Her head hung low using her red locks as a curtain to hide the deep hurt on her face.

"I just found out how little time I have. I don't have the pieces to fight my way out of this, nor do I have the time to make any real changes. If Hyoudou is not a part of this peerage tonight, we stop pursuing him."

Mumbling to herself as her Queen looked on worriedly, Rias pulled out a very thin folder from under the pile of papers. Not even bothering with her glasses she opened the folder picking up the topmost page.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Age 19, Birth date October 10, Parents Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina both deceased in an ambiguous accident with very little background documentation." Slamming the document of the desk she paused attempting to calm herself. "No family, no real roots anywhere. Akeno outside of this paper he's a ghost."

"Doesn't your father screen all the new students president? Maybe you should ask your father about him?"

"Akeno if he was anyone my family would have seen as dangerous or important, I would have been informed." Looking at her queen like a cornered animal she continued. "His entrance to the academy was too smooth, it's like he walked in and that was it." Standing up abruptly, Rias made a quick decision and was about to speak up when a something smashed through the lone window of the room. Both Akeno and Rias jumped ready for an attack, broken glass clinking and clattering across the floor.

After a few moments of nothing happening, both sets of eyes slowly shifted over to the bright red brick sitting almost innocently on her desk. A hastily folded piece of loose leaf tied around it. It was also at that moment that a certain blond prince entered the scene, swords in hand ready to offer immediate support. His school uniform consisting of a blazer and matching slacks doing very little to add any real threat to the boy. In his hands where two rather simple looking but sharp blades.

"President! Akeno! Are you okay? I heard something smash!"

Akeno spared a quick glance at the knight before moving to the window.

Rias however continued to stare warily at the seemingly innocuous piece of paper. Somehow she just knew she wasn't going to like what was inside.

"No one's out there."

Taking a deep breath as her Knight moved closer to the desk to examine the class covered room, Rias palmed one hand to her face.

"Akeno, I'm pretty sure we both know who did this." With those words said Rias reached for the brick and quickly pulled the paper free.

It only took her a few seconds to open the sheet unveiling the contents.

When Rias said nothing a few minutes later both queen and knight started to get worried, noticing Rias had all but stopped moving.

"Um, President?" Kiba called out as he reached out to give her a shake, but the moment he touched her. Rias all but scrambled out of the room, the letter falling forgotten from her hands.

Akeno was quick to give chase, yelling for her leader to no avail.

Kiba was left in the room worried at what just transpired before taking the grounded letter into his hands. When he saw the contents it all became very clear to him exactly why Rias was panicking.

'Hey Red, so I know you have tough decisions to make, but while you're doing that. I found this adorably confused pale boy hiding in the basement. And I am very disappointed in you, It is not healthy to keep your friends locked up, especially in a basement. So, I decided to go take him for some man time. You know, do stuff, outside in the sun. Aren't I great? Now I know how this looks but I promise, this will be good for him. Don't worry though, I'll bring him back. Later!

-Naruto'

The shriek of rage that was heard across campus, only confirmed the validity of the letter.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Hey! Ray-chan! Ray-Chan! Look what I found!" Naruto yelled as he barged into his home happiness abound. The response was a frightened yelp along with several crashes from his kitchen. Following the sounds he was met with the strange sight of the black haired woman cowering in the large yellow shirt he left her. Her choice of defense being the overturned dining room table. In front of said table lay several plates of once good food now gone to waste.

Which was completely ignored, as Naruto shoved what looked like a trembling blonde schoolgirl into the poor woman's face.

"See, I found a real life basement-dweller!"

"W-why is she shaking?"

Naruto tilted his head briefly before pulling the pointy eared crossdresser's face to his line of sight.

"She? This is a guy, and he came this way." Shoving the crying boy's face back into the girl's he continued. "Isn't the little trap just adorable in a creepy kind of way?"

Raynare didn't even pause to dignify that response. She just looked at the mad man keeping her alive.

"Why?" There was a frantic lilt in her voice, almost as if she was asking for multiple reasons.

"Why what, Ray-chan?" Naruto asked tilting his head to the side, blinking innocently like this was an everyday event.

"Why what?" The woman sobbed. "Why is he here? For that matter, what more do you want with me?"

"Ah well uhh… Gasper is here because I was bored, as for you..." Looking away from the woman a red tint filled his cheeks as he sheepishly scratched his cheek. "I kinda sorta don't know how to undo what I did to you." Nodding momentarily he continued. "Didn't really test that seal properly yet and it worked a bit too well. Eh, I'll just have to fix it later."

Part of Raynare truly wanted to scream at the man, hit him with everything she had, which without her magic was admittedly not much. While the logical part of her, the terrified one that knew her place in the food chain. Wanted to be as far as safely possible, from that stupid face.

Opting to crawl away from him, eyes never leaving his form. Raynare decided to ask the baited question.

"When can you fix this?" As the question left her lips she watched the blond set the kidnapped crossdresser on a quickly righted chair, before beginning to fix the mess.

"Still working on the last screw up, so it might be a bit." Through the whimpering he rolled his eyes. "Oh, stop being a crybaby! Your seal is easy stuff, shouldn't take long at all. If I'm wrong, I'll see about bending the rules a bit for you."

After setting the last food stained piece of furniture right, a frown lit his face at the messy look. "Hmm, I guess I should get this cleaned. Hey, Ray-chan have you met your roommates yet?"

When he received no reply, he looked to the girl to see her unmoving form in mid blink. Sparing a quick glance at what used to be a pink now red eyed boy looking in the woman's general direction he responded swiftly with a chop upon the boys head.

"Eeyye-!" Went the boy, as he held his head in more shock than anything as the world in front of him continued. Raynare blinked in worry when she realized the boy was suddenly holding his head.

"Play nice. Anyway Raynare I'm sure you've already met your roommates, tell the tall proud one I told her to fix the place up. Me and this kid are going to go rock some video games. Let me know when Issei gets here alright, kay, bye!" turning abruptly Naruto then proceeded to toss the boy over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, eliciting another squeal of surprise and fear from the boy. "Come on kid, if you don't spend the next five minutes screaming in my ear, I'll get you a damn box. I'll even let you keep it when I bring you back."

"R-really?" The hopeful sound muffled by sniffles echoed out as the two left the confused woman in the room.

"Eh, sure. So you any good at video games?"


End file.
